This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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