PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
