So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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