he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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