My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
