just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Who died my cat blue again?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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