We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
