Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
