he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
