is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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