Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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