Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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