so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
