Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
