Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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