So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
