Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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