Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
