You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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