I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
