I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
