yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
please don't ironically join a cult
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