JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
