i permit you to call me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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