she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
