i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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