My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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