what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm really busy with my period
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