I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize