Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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