Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
