"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
