So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
