I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
