how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
