lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
