Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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