do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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