dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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