Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
