Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
