Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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