Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
