so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
