and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
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I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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