drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
sex in a hospital.. check
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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