Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
