I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
