I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
