I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
