love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
This house was built for laser tag.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
