You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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