what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
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Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
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He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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