Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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