Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
time to smoke my breakfast
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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