I think i peed on brittanys purse
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
