and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You need a sexual gate keeper
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
