So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
