theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
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I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
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That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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