just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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