we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
