But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
