I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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