You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she was so not down for the gang bang
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize