So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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