my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
