you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
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She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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