I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
